One day, Derek Savage was poking around the Internet when he came across some YouTube Reviews of his movie about Cool Cat teaching kids about how incredibly black & white bulling is. He suddenly called over Cool Cat in a angry fashion.
"COOL CAT COME IN HERE!" yelled Derek.
Cool Cat walked in and acknowledged his master.
"I've had it with these bloody YouTubers thinking they can criticize by work like they have Freedom of Speech or something!"
Cool Cat nodded his head.
"Here's the keys to my gun locker. I'm going to put you on a very special mission. I need you to prevent these YouTubers from talking shit, okay?"
Cool Cat received a key and paper containing the usernames of various reviewers, all of whom gave bad reviews.
"Good man, errrr...cat. But make sure you get them real good. Drive the M4 Sherman if you want." Derek finished.
Cool Cat went to the gun locker, it was more like a storage container and it contained every imaginable firearm and more ammo than an action movie hero. Cool Cat grabbed everything and loaded the M4 Sherman and left.
*+===================================================================+*
Cool Cat first got up to the residence of YourMovieSucks and aimed the turret to the front porch and with a loud bang, destroyed the house. Cool Cat then threw a German stick grenade to make sure of it. But the YouTuber was out grocery shopping and when he went onto his street he noticed the destroyed house and Cool Cat was searching the wreckage.
"OH SHIT!" said YourMovieSucks, he then threw his car's peddle to the flipping metal and drove as fast as can.
Cool Cat noticed the reviewer's car and drove the tank after him. The chase ended up in them going onto a interstate highway. A police helicopter was filming the footage and was chasing them too. Cool Cat took the tank and shot down several cop cars and then the tank and aimed for the YouTuber's speeding Ford. The turret fired and the car swerved sideways causing the tank shell to take down an overpass bridge. Cool Cat ignited the Nitrous boosters and the Sherman raced forward onto a high bridge where YourMovieSucks was on. Cool Cat passed him and fired a shot, the car was blown to smithereens. Then he fired several more shot to destroy the bridge. The bridge fell 500 feet to the ravine below severing an important road connection between states.
The next target was IHateEverything, he tending to his garden of bushes that grew material for him to review. But he saw Cool Cat's tank going down the bend at the end of the road. He quickly ran into his house and pushed the Emergency Defense button. IHE's house was suddenly covered in steel siding and sandbag walls appeared, complete with barbed wire. He jumped into the cockpit of a artillery gun and fired at the tank. The brutal battle suddenly began.
Cool Cat fired back but to no avail. IHateEverything fired yet again and destroyed the tank's left tread. The M4 Sherman crashed into the side of winnebago and it blew up. Cool Cat left the wrecked tank and went on foot equipped with a M16 and fired at IHE. IHE ducked and fired the artillery at Cool Cat.
Then Aquaman came out and summoned a Blastoise. Cool Cat shot down the water-type Pokemon with a Crakakakakaka. Aquaman then caused a tsunami and wash Cool Cat down the street, taking out a good portion of the other houses and then Cool Cat launched a Bazooka round and Aquaman got blown to bits.
"Oh god! Guess its time to bring out my secret weapon.!" Said IHateEverything.
He took a remote control and started to have command over a Dalek he kept in the garage and it moved onto the suburban battlefield.
"EXTERMINATE!" screamed the Dalek.
The Dalek fired deadly lasers at Cool Cat, but Cool Cat used a NYPD issued riot shield, which not only deflects rioters (if you can call them that) but also anything deadly. Cool Cat fired another bazooka round at it. It did nothing. But Cool Cat kept his cool and tried everything, but then he got an idea, if he could shove something into the laser firing bit, it could destroy itself. So Cool Cat took a Bad Dragon branded dildo and ran toward the Dalek. The Dalek kept firing but Cool Cat jumped from side to side and then shoved the dildo in. The Dalek tried to fire but was no use, it violently exploded. Cool Cat blew open the sandbag wall and fired at the steel house. IHE retreated inside his resident bunker. Cool Cat gave chase and IHateEverthing sent out robotic gunmen to defend the fortress.
Cool Cat pressed onward blowing up door after door before reaching into a large hanger where IHE was piloting Metal Gear. The biped tank quickly tried to shoot up Cool Cat but to no avail. Cool Cat suddenly spammed C4 explosives blowing up Metal Gear. But in a last ditch attempt to finish Cool Cat he set the home to self destruct and then suicide bombed Cool Cat. Cool Cat used the riot shield but the blast destroyed the shield. Cool Cat dashed out before the place was destroying in a fiery heap.
Cool Cat received a call from Derek Savage.
"Hi I just want to tell you that people are making hurtful memes about you saving the kids! Take the He 111 and blow up 4Chan HQ. Okay, thanks!" Derek hanged up.
*+===================================================================+*
Cool Cat was now flying thousands of feet in the air heading to 4Chan HQ to destroy the evidence of memes on the internet. Soon he came upon the building and flipped a lever. Bombs dropped from the bomb bay doors. But a rare pepe came out and defended the headquarters and then let out a mighty roar. Cool Cat put it into All-Range mode (a feature commonly put on Arwings but modded into a Heinkel He 111 as well as the ability to fire laser beams, making this WWII bomber an essential Arwing) and fired at the rare pepe. The rare pepe swiped at the plane and ripped off the banner advertising a random Cool Cat movie. Cool Cat dropped some bombs onto one of the rare pepe's eyes, blinding it instantly. The rare pepe lost 1/5 of its vision and all of its depth perception. The rare pepe puked a double rainbow at the He 111\Arwig combo and took out part of the rudder. The plane started to beep loudly. Cool Cat then dropped bombs onto the 4Chan building, demolishing it entirely. Then crashed the plane into the rare pepe, Cool Cat escaped however. But Cool Cat thought of other places memes could be made. So Cool Cat broke into an army base and stole a jet fighter. He took off to the skies to destroy the headquarters of Facebook, Reddit, and Tumblr.
*+====================================================================+*
Cool Cat finally came across the Headquarters of all three in a prissy business park in Silicon Valley. Wind of Cool Cat's destruction caught wind and the air raid sirens begin to flare. The three major social networks sent out the RAF (bought from Britain using money from Facebook's shares). The sky filled up with Spitfires trying to shoot down the rouge jet fighter. Cool Cat attacked the spitfires and 20 of them fell to the ground with some swift rocket fires. Then the Lancaster Bombers dropped bombs on the jet fighter. But Cool Cat won't go down without yet another fight and fired a machine gun at the fuselage of one of the bombers which crashed onto another bomber before exploding on impact with the ground. Cool Cat tricked one of the Lancaster Bombers into destroying Tumblr. The Gamergate women ran outside of the collapsing building and Cool Cat fired into the crowd before single handedly destroying a formation of Spitfires. He then shot down two Spitfires which crashed into Reddit building then Chairman Pao came out and fired an anti-aircraft gun but missed and hit a Lancaster Bomber and it thought it was hit by the jet fighter and bombed Reddit's HQ.
The last one standing was Facebook. The RAF was only left with 56 planes out of the usual 1002, you can see why the number was reduced so drastically. So Cool Cat launched two missiles inside, obliterating the front lobby and most of the first floor. Cool Cat then realized he needed to destroy the servers. So he then fired missiles onto very floor of the building before the whole building until the whole HQ crumbled to the ground. The RAF scrambled away. Then Cool Cat received a premonition.
The premonition was about the French arresting him and Derek Savage. So he had a cunning plan.
*+==================================================================+*
The jet fighter was equipped with four nukes, Cool Cat was saving them for a special target. So Cool Cat flew to France. The worst of his atrocities has finally come. Unprovoked by Derek's directives but rather Cool Cat's own accord. He nuked Paris followed by Lyon, then Bordeaux, finally ending with Canne. There was truly no more peace for France.
Soon the winds carried the nuclear radiation and spread it across Europe, Asia, and Africa. The environment decayed and animals and humans became sick. Then a hero came out of retirement. This patriot of being green, came out like a light at the end of a tunnel. His name, Awesome Possum, back to kick more butt. This time, its not Dr. Machino, its Cool Cat...
To be concluded in...
Awesome Possum kicks Cool Cat's Butt! Staring Guest Stars: Bubsy the bobcat, Cloud, Barret, Tifa, Aris, and Cait Sith! Will Cool Cat be stopped? Find out next time!
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